Trying to Divorce Someone Who Won’t Be Found

 I recently reached out to one of my husband’s long-time TikTok friends — someone he’s always treated like a mother figure. My message to her was simple and very direct. I told her I was only contacting her to see if she could give me a city and state so I could publish a divorce notice in his local paper. I made it clear I didn’t want to talk about anything else and that if she didn’t have the information, she could just say no or block me.

Instead of receiving a response, I got two notifications that she had screenshotted my message. And honestly, it didn’t surprise me. My husband has spent a long time painting a version of our relationship online — not in private conversations, but publicly on TikTok for clout — where I’m the narcissist, I’m the abuser, and he’s the victim who went to jail “for no reason.”

Meanwhile, he isn’t actually off-grid. He keeps himself intentionally hidden. I’ve been trying to find out his location since March of last year so I can legally serve divorce papers, but he refuses to share where he lives. He tells people he has to keep his whereabouts secret to “protect himself and his current and future family.”

But the part that makes everything even harder to swallow is this: while claiming he needs to stay hidden from me, he was posting my apartment online — publicly — revealing where his biological son lived, and where his current wife was staying. The exact people he claims he’s trying to protect. (Myself and his son)

It’s frustrating watching him twist the narrative online while I’m just trying to close this chapter legally and safely.