Life goes by

  I think one of the biggest lies people tell about healing is that once you decide to do better, life suddenly gets easier. It doesn’t. Sometimes the exact opposite happens. This week has been one of those weeks where reality sat me down and said, “Okay. Let’s see what you’re really made of.” Bills changed. Rent went up. Shared responsibilities suddenly started looking less shared. Numbers on paper became heavier than numbers should feel. And for the first time in a while, I had to stop asking what we could manage and start asking what I could survive alone. That’s a scary shift. Not because I can’t do hard things. I’ve done hard things. I’ve survived things that should have broken me. But survival and stability are not the same thing. Survival is scrambling. Stability is planning. And I’m trying so damn hard to become stable. This week forced me to look at every expense, every unnecessary comfort, every “maybe it’ll work itself out” thought pat...

  Lately… I’ve been creating more than I have in a long time. I started making more and more music on Suno—just trying things, experimenting, putting feelings somewhere instead of letting them sit in my chest. And then I did something that felt… big. I caved and bought a yearly subscription to DistroKid. Which means now… I’m actually publishing. My songs. My words. My stories. Out there. On real platforms. Even typing that feels weird. Because at the same time I’m doing this… I’m still teaching myself how to sing. Still figuring out my voice. Still learning what kind of artist I even am. So it’s not perfect. It’s not traditional. But it’s mine. And I was excited about it. Until I said something. I told my friend I’ve been using AI to help create my music… and they called it a disgrace to real music creators. And I don’t know why that hit as hard as it did… but it did. Because suddenly something I was proud of turned into something I felt like I had to de...