Life goes by

 So today is the third Halloween for my two-year-old to celebrate in his life, For his first, he was a fox for his second. He was the DuBarry boy. And now for his third is gonna be Sully from monster Inc. I’m feeling very proud of him, but also conflicted with anger because all three of these Halloween’s. I have missed. His biological father has full custody of him, but I have my parental rights and I feel very alienated and distance because he will not let me see my son outside of a mediated supervise visitation room and he won’t even tell me what my boy is doing today for the holiday. Hell, he hasn’t even told me for sure. He’ll send me a picture of my baby boy in his costume. I just wanna see my kid and be around him and it feels like every step of the way I’ve met with this aggressive nature of no. This is my son too, I have all of my parental rights and my son has child rights too. He’s a little brother. He’s been bonding with. Shouldn’t they be allowed to see each other? I’m ...

 So as a mom of a clingy baby it’s been hard to go to work. I didn’t take time off when he was born, 14 days post partum and I was right back to cashiering  Had a panic attack day one and was crying on his grandmas toilet seat tryna cope. Can’t believe that was a little under six months ago now. Today he is six months old and I relized that with my new ish job (in training two months now) we have a set schedule, at work 3-8 4 week days and the Saturdays for 8 hours 12-8. We walk in the front door at 8:30 on the dot every night. He no longer screams and cry’s he smiles and talks to me we nurse and by 9:30 he is in his crib.  Now my little warrior (nick name stems from his survival at 4 weeks in utero from his dad hitting me) is yes still a baby and very dependent on me but this whole having his own personality and routine it’s hard to watch it develop I want my little baby who just cuddled all day back.  I guess maybe I’m a clingy mom not him a clingy baby

 Good day dear readers. This is my first time attempting a blog, so I thought I might start with a quick introduction of myself and my family.  My Name is Mavis but I go by Mae . I’m a mother of two amazing boys, My oldest is two and currently living with his biological father while my youngest is 6 months tomorrow and his father is no longer in my life. I am a married woman even though I very much want a divorce . I do a lot of TikTok videos on multiple accounts if you look up The Riversongs you’ll find a family based account and then my main account is under shinning star Mae . My main account has a lot of the information regarding my current husband, which throughout this blog you will most likely read about a lot as he’s unfortunately a big stresser still.