What I’ve Seen, What I’ve Survived, and Why I Protect My Son

 

There are parts of my story I never expected to share publicly, but healing sometimes means putting the truth into words. I’m writing this for clarity, for accountability, and for the sake of the child I’m raising. This isn’t about revenge — it’s about saying out loud what I once had to survive quietly.

The Online Mask vs. the Reality Behind It

My husband has built an online persona under a name that suggests he fights for justice. On the surface, it sounds heroic. But the behavior behind that screen does not match the image.

His page is filled with call-outs, accusations toward former friends and acquaintances, and long-running feuds he stokes publicly. He presents himself as the victim in every situation while using other people’s stories, hardships, and identities as content.

He calls it “justice,” but the pattern shows something very different:

harassment, retaliation, and control of the narrative whenever someone leaves or disagrees with him.

Any time a relationship ends — whether with a partner, friend, or family member — he follows the same DARVO pattern:

deny what he did, attack the other person, and reverse the story so he becomes the victim.

It’s a cycle he repeats constantly both online and offline.

My Experience With Domestic Violence

I survived domestic violence during my relationship with my husband. There were explosive arguments, verbal attacks, threats, manipulation, and emotional instability that made daily life unpredictable. We were frequently without stable housing because he relied heavily on others for income and support. Whenever that fell through, we were back on the streets.

I worked multiple jobs, but stability was impossible when someone else consistently disrupted it.

Leaving him wasn’t simple, but it was necessary for my safety — and eventually, for my child’s safety too.

What I Witnessed With His Other Children

There were also things I witnessed involving his other children that still weigh heavily on me.

His Older Daughter

There was a protection order granted for his older daughter. Before that happened, I personally witnessed how he reacted when she cried, babbled, or tried to communicate. Instead of soothing her, he yelled at her and responded with anger and frustration. He did not participate in basic caretaking tasks — he didn’t change her, calm her, comfort her, or show patience.

And once she was no longer in his care, he used her situation online for attention and content.

His Second Child

His second child is being raised by the maternal grandparents. During the pregnancy, I witnessed my husband verbally annd physically attack his pregnant ex-girlfriend. These incidents happened frequently and escalated during emotionally charged moments.

These behaviors weren’t isolated. They were consistent patterns of how he handles stress, vulnerability, and conflict.

Why I Protect My Child

After surviving his violence myself and seeing how he has treated his other children, I protect my own child with everything I have.

I have seen how quickly he becomes angry.

I have heard the yelling.

I have watched him struggle to regulate his emotions.

I have seen the instability — the homelessness, the dependency on others, the chaos that follows him everywhere.

And I know his history, including taking people across state lines without permission and past kidnapping-related charges. I cannot overlook these risks.

My responsibility is to protect my child, and I take that seriously.

If he ever has contact with his son, I believe it should be supervised only, through a professional visitation center. I already use one with my older child, and they provide safe protocols, emotional neutrality, and emergency procedures if a visiting parent becomes unstable.

If my husband chooses not to comply with supervised visitation, then that decision speaks for itself.

Why I’m Sharing This

I’m not sharing this to attack anyone. I’m sharing it because silence protects harmful patterns. Speaking helps me heal, and it may help someone else feel less alone if they’ve seen similar behaviors.

My child deserves calm, stability, and love — not chaos, fear, or confusion.

Surviving was step one.

Understanding what I survived is step two.

Protecting my children is step three, and I will never apologize for doing that

——————————————————

If You’re Reading This as a Survivor — You’re Not Alone

If you made it this far, I want you to hear me clearly:

You are not alone. You are not crazy. You are not overreacting.

And you deserve safety, stability, and a life where you don’t have to flinch at someone’s voice or behavior.

A big part of my escape started with something small but powerful —

texting 988

when I had no one else and didn’t know what to do. That was the moment I realized I wasn’t trapped forever.

If you’re in a situation where you feel unsafe, unheard, or isolated, here are some resources that may help you take your first step — even if it’s tiny, even if it feels impossible:

Emergency Support

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text)
  For emotional support, grounding, or when you feel overwhelmed and alone.

Domestic Violence Hotlines

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
  Text “START” to 88788
  Online chat available at thehotline.org
• Love Is Respect: 1-866-331-9474
  Text “LOVEIS” to 22522
  Especially helpful for younger survivors or those in dating relationships.

If You Need a Safe Place to Go

• 211 (call or visit 211.org)
  Can connect you to local shelters, food, childcare support, and emergency housing.
• Local DV Shelters often provide:
  
• safety planning
• emergency housing
• legal advocates
• help with protective orders
• childcare resources
• transportation support
• 
  

Legal & Custody Help

• WomensLaw.org
  Clear explanations of protection orders, custody rights, and how to document abuse.
• Legal Aid (search your state + “legal aid”)
  Many provide free attorneys for DV cases, custody hearings, or supervised visitation requests.

One Last Thing

If you are reading this and recognizing patterns in your own life, I want you to know:

You deserve to feel safe in your own home. You deserve to breathe easier.

Your first step doesn’t have to be big. Mine wasn’t.

It just has to be yours.

If you want help writing your own story, documenting safely, or finding wording for a plan… I’m here for you.